How to handle a girlfriend that lives with you and refuses to help pay rent or clean?

My girlfriend of 3 years has lived with me for the last year or so. She has barely helped me pay the bills over this time. Now she refuses to help pay bills entirely because she claims I said she could live here rent free. She also claims to never have money yet she is constantly shopping. The second dillemma is that our house is filthy. I clean up as much as I can between my classes. She recently lost her job and instead of helping out around the house she manages her time buy driving around, shopping, hanging out with friends, and making excuses. I know that from my words you might think I hate this girl but I truly don't. I love her, I'm just getting more and more confused as to what her motives are for being with me. She moved out of her parents house to move in with me...maybe she still has that teenage frame of mind where money grows on trees and everything is handed to you on a silver platter. In any event I need unbiased advice and quick. My bank account is draining fast!How to handle a girlfriend that lives with you and refuses to help pay rent or clean?
Kick her out and dump her. She is an inconsiderate leech.How to handle a girlfriend that lives with you and refuses to help pay rent or clean?
What a slob! Not only are you paying for everything, she doesn't want to clean? That is nonsense, especially since she is not working.





I think you should kick her out. She seems very insensitive and like she is only using you.
I think you're right about her frame of mind being teenage. She's depending on you. Do you really want that kind of responsibility being a college student (assumably due to the classes you're attending)? Tell her to grow up and assume some responsibility around the house, or she can move out. Tell her that you still love her and want to be in a relationship with her, but her lifestyle is becoming a strain on your budget, and if she's in it for you and not your bank account, then she'll be accepting of it and willing to help.
1. Your the MAN of the house and men are supposed to support the women.


2. You offered to let her live with you for FREE in the first place.


3. You'd be paying the same bills anyway even if you lived alone.


4. If she's too sorry to clean up after herself and keep the house clean, then you need to decide if you want to live with that for the rest of your life and have someone that's that nasty and lazy.


5. She's obviously got money to burn so she's out wasting it on shopping and gas to drive around so...


6. She's obviously too young to know what life is about so you need to stop robbing the cradle and get a real woman.
You should tell her that she needs to help out or else you will have to kick her off your house.
Tell her first that you love her and you want to make this relationship work. then tell her that she needs to be more responsible by looking for a job, maintain the job, and supporting her fiancees. Tell her that she is no more with her parents and she has to earn her own money and spending that money wisely.Tell her your problem with the bills and that your bank account is draining up at a fast rate if she does not help.Tell her that life is not all ways on a silver platter and there area lot of hardship. Tell her that you are happy to help her in every way but she must start helping herself in life. Tell her that you like the house to be clean and it should be clean all the time. Tell her if she does not change, find and maintain a job,help to pay the bill,and help to clean the house then ask her to go home to her parents and it's over(just to make her scared)





Good Luck and e-mail me to find out more if you want or read all the answers
Ok, so you need to lay down the law. I am not telling you to be mean either, I just mean that you really really need to take charge of this situation before it gets more out of hand.





To me she thinks that everything should be handed to her, make sure that she is well aware that she either needs to start doing stuff around the house and get a job or she has to find another place to live. Make sure she knows that when moving out with you she took on responsibility and it turned out that now you are burdened with HER responsibilities while she is not taking care of them. Make sure she knows this is unacceptable.





I am 21 I have lived with my bf for almost two years. I lost my job recently. But when he comes home the house is spotless, dinner is on the table, and I also do things like bake for him as well.... and it was the same when I was working full time... I DO the housework... I believe that its only right that I contribute in one way or another... and it should be the same with her
Kick her out.





Your bills will go down.





If she refuses, make it a legal case.
tell her tht u never mentioned that she could live with you rent free..Also ask her why is she even living there if she dosent do anything in the house. she dosnet listen,just kick her out and break up with her..tht otta teach her a lesson.
Well this doesn't sound like a person you would want o marry or continue to be in a long term relationship with. What redeeming quality does she display. I hope the sex is good because otherwise i would show her to the door with her belongings and change the locks.
Wow you must love her... Looks like she may be taking advantage of you... Be open and honest with her... Let her know that you need her support right now, that it would be really helpful if she could help around the house, and with the bills... I hope this helps... Good Luck!!!
Life is hard on your own, but even harder when you are flipping someone elses tab. I lived like this for years and finally had to let the relationship go. Its just not fair for you to have to pay her way when she isn't even trying to help. What is she running around and shopping with? Your money? Its just not fair. If she returns to work the bills should be split down the middle, like rent, utilities, food, household products, etc..,You will have to make a decision. Is she worth it? and can your income keep up with her? I believe that if one person works outside the home and the other doesn't, the one at home could at least have some of the house chores caught up...I hope it works out for you...I've been in your shoes and its not easy..
oh no no nooooooooo! What you do is on your next off day, give the place a good cleaning. Then change the locks. Hopefully this girl is not on your lease. When she tries to bang or beat the door in, politely tell her, if you want to come in you need to pay your way to stay! If she doesn't want to,learn your lesson and move on. Don't fall prey to stuck up daddy's girls. They need to learn the value of a dollar just like everybody else. Put her out of your house. You can do bad by yourself. You don't need help. Don't feel pity. You worked hard for the money that's in your bank, hopefully, don't let some spoiled vally girl drain you!
Sit her down and have a lond chat about this with her. If she is going to live like a housewife, she needs to start acting like one.. Cleaning house, paying bills, and etc..... Let her know how you feel..