Tuesday, August 10, 2010

How do I get my 25-year old stepson to help more around the house - he works, pays no rent.?

He works almost full time. Is living with us (indefinitely) to save money to pay off bills. His dad's family is not the charging-rent type. Dad won't push him to follow certain ';house rules';. Other than that, we get along great - it just doesn't seem fair to me. He eats with us some, too.How do I get my 25-year old stepson to help more around the house - he works, pays no rent.?
Not the charging-rent type,fifty dollars a month,and that is nothing,wouldn't be to much to ask.That would teach him some responsibilities.Wicked step mother,your a saint.Rent money aside, you need to talk to your husband.First of all,the kid picks up after himself,period.You do not clean up after him.Second he gets a list of a few things to do around the house,anything helps.Third,he has a year to ';pay his bills'; and then he needs to find his own place,or pay full rent,with a list of the house rules. He needs to be buying some of his own food too.Enforce this,your a part of that family too.Make your list and start talking to your man, about about some rules,or I'm afraid you might start resenting both of them.Your to nice!How do I get my 25-year old stepson to help more around the house - he works, pays no rent.?
I definately wouldnt do things like threaten him or anything like that...He prolly feels that he is a ';grown'; man and doesnt need to be told what to do...However subtley you may want to remind him that adults take care of themselves...and you are not asking for alot of him like rent and things so the least he could do is contribute to his part around the house without you having to remind or even ask him..I would let him know that it embaresses you to even have to address the issue but since he hasnt taking the iniative then you feel the need to step in and remind him that he has to learn a lil more responsibility to succeed in life..
I know this can be hard... I was in this situation once (living with my parents and not helping out more) and my parents tried different tactics. Everyone is definitely different in the way they respond to different things. You should definitely talk to your husband and come to an agreement first off! If you don't have each others support, than it may not work out so well. And then try being nice, saying, ';We love having you around, and I think we need your help around here.'; Make him feel like you guys NEED his help, you need him around for something! I agree both ways, making kids pay some rent, show them responsibility, or make them work and/or go to school and that should even out if they just help out around the house. I moved out when I was 21, it was time! But in my opinion, being 'nice' about it would be a good way to go. I hope I helped, I know it's good to try and get both sides of a situation. :)
Challenge your husband. Tell him you have a $1.00 that says he's a wimp and is too afraid to make his son follow the rules.
The problem lays with your husband.





No matter what you feel about the step son,


nothing will ever change unless the husband


enforces the rules and backs you up.





Best wishes
letting him know that he needs ether to pay rent or to help out or to leave. he might not be your son but that is your house.
Tell him upfront to pitch in like the other adults or make other living arrangements. Adults must do adult things, i.e. assume responsibility
You obviously dont love him like his dad does. your like the stereotype of the wicked step mother. no offence.
You need to have a heart to heart talk with your husband.
you need to tell him you would like some help.

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